Uta and Sheila
UTA, Hoboken, New Jersey, 1978
Black and white photograph created with 120 film, 20” x 20”, Artist’s Collection
As I near the end of this exhibition, I return to Uta, my original muse and model. In this photograph, taken in Hoboken, she appears natural in her nakedness, completely at ease. I’m struck by her youthful body and face that shines through the mask. It reminds me of the ease of our connection when we were first together. As in all relationships of the heart, the challenge is to discover a balance between what is hers and what is mine. And as I sit with so many images past and present, of other bodies wearing my face, I sometimes get lost in the balance. What face, what body, and what mind belongs to whom? Is the mask just an artifice? Or does it somehow adhere to the mind and body and heart which often intertwine with those of others?
SHEILA, New York City, 2023
Digital color print, 20” x 20”,
Artist’s Collection
As Uta’s photo is about youth and young love, Sheila’s photo is about old age and mortality. As seen in a previous image, Sheila is a very youthful 96. She reads a book every day and her memory is as clear as crystal. When we met, she showed me a photo of herself as a young woman, some 75 years ago. Here she sits in mask with that photo—a young woman about to embark on an unknown, exciting future. The image of Sheila’s mask is sad and haunting. The photo, another kind of mask, is bright and cheerful. A stark dark vase sits in the background, without flowers. Nevertheless, Sheila is full, bright and flowery in her outfit. The contrast between the young woman with all the world before her, and the old woman with her younger self in a frame is striking. It mirrors the pairing of Uta and Sheila. They both wear my masks reflecting my life trajectory—waxing and waning and waxing again.
With these photos it becomes clearer to me that this exhibition is not only a way to respond to the question, Who am I? It also responds to, Whither am I bound? If the mask is both a container of youthful vitality and a harbinger of death, then by giving it to others, I affirm my humanity as one who will live as full and vital a life as I can, and then let it go when it’s time for the mask to fall.